The New Horizon
“Every success story is a tale of constant adaption, revision, and change.” — Richard Branson
It is June 21st and I am less than two weeks away from completing web101… wow… we did it. I made it through the cyber ether. I learned to navigate through the matrix. I learned how to hold conversations and create with my coding software, spent countless nights stressing in front of my monitor, hours upon hours in tutoring, yet I made it through. You would think I would feel a sigh of relief knowing that I'll soon have my first certification but guess what?… I don’t.
The answer is simple. Perfectionism. I want to be perfect. I want my pages to be the perfect dimensions and responsiveness. I want to have a full grasp on all languages, and I want my concepts to steam flawlessly from whiteboard to wireframe to VS code. I want all of these wonderful things that clearly take more than a month's worth of an into class, and this desire of mine has created the perfect storm that birthed my new nemesis. His name is “Imposter syndrome”.
Imposter syndrome is seemingly the villain of every web developer’s story. It’s the Gannon, General Zod, Bowzer, Dark Samus, etc. It’s the boss battle you inevitably face before leveling up and moving to the next stage in your journey. It feeds on your self-doubts and worries blocking you from seeing your growth.
So how do I defeat imposter syndrome?
Once again, to be quite transparent, I don’t. You read that right. I do not. However, I can minimize it, and I do that by acknowledging it and the things that feed it but it will never go away. It is the yin to my yang. The dark part of that lives in the corner of my subconscious… Dramatic? Yes, a bit dramatic but true. My imposter syndrome feeds on my fear of imperfections, so if I take a deep breath and learn to be okay with bugs in my code or layout then he gets smaller. When I acknowledge that it’s okay if I’m going at a slower pace than the others around me as long as I go at my pace he gets smaller. When I get frustrated but take a moment to reflect on how far I’ve come as a novice developer my syndrome becomes so minuscule, and I feel a release of joy and calm. A joy and calm that I wouldn’t know if I didn’t have something to juxtapose it with.
The voice of reassurance
So we’ve discussed Imposter syndrome and the negative voice, but what is the antithesis of Imposter syndrome? If Imposter syndrome is the yin then, what I refer to as, The Voice of reassurance is the yang. This is the voice that speaks greatness into you. This is the voice that tells you not to give up. This is the positive region of the subconscious that believes you will achieve your goals, and it is critical to listen to this voice no matter how hard the Imposter Syndrome fights to be louder. Fight and try for this voice to be the winner because the winning voice is the one that manifests itself in your work and practices
Now we have our two voices. Imposter and Reassurance. In a perfect world, the voice of reassurance wins every time, however, that is not the world we live in as programmers and this is something I want you to know. In the last paragraph, I mentioned to try for the positive voice to win. Put forth the effort and attempt but know that it is okay if you lose the fight sometimes. Sometimes Mr.Imposter wins no matter how hard you try, and that is not a reflection of your capabilities. Sometimes we face crippling doubts, fears, and anxieties, and these feelings are valid feelings. We are venturing into new territories and the learning curve isn’t always going to feel manageable or fun, and that is okay.
“You win some, you lose some, but you live to fight another day”- John Witherspoon
The new Horizon